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Bump of Chicken - Butterfly

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I'm glad to see you UCAADs again. I worked 200 hours over the past two weeks, so that is why I have been MIA. I should have a more reasonable schedule the next two months (55-70 hours a week versus 100 a week), so I'll be posting again. The only other real changes are me taking over STFU and HYSF going back to doing the day-to-day writing I used to do and writing long articles. It looks like whoever touches the STFU series ends up cursed, so let's hope the STFU series doesn't kill me.

Anyway, I found out that Bump of Chicken is releasing a new album titled "Butterflies," and they recently released their music video for "Butterfly". This sound is different from what they usually do, but you can still hear their normal sound under the synth beats produced by the keyboard. I personally like the direction change for them, as BoC typically has slower songs and a light-rock feel to them, so the synth beats do add some oomph without drastically changing how their songs sound.

Back in the day, "Karma" was my shit. And yes, it's the theme for Tales of the Abyss, which is tied for my favorite game ever (the other being Persona 3).

Seolhyun Tries To Win Over America With Guns

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She succeeds in my book.

SeolhyunSuddenAttack1


I was bored and saw this on Asian Junkie, so I decided to post about it. Seolhyun poses in all black with guns for Sudden Attack which is some video game or something else I don't care about. Anyway there is an attractive woman with guns so any other Americans and gun loves can enjoy to the rest of this post. For the guns, of course.


SeolhyunSuddenAttack5

Guns and shit.

SeolhyunSuddenAttack6

This is 'Merica and Asia as one.

SeolhyunSuddenAttack8

It's always scarier when you're on the opposite end of the gun.

SeolhyunSuddenAttack7

I'm also 100% sure you could wind up shooting yourself in the hand posing with a gun like that but the point of this probably wasn't accuracy.

And for those of you who are disgusted by Americans and our love of guns there are these pictures:

SeolhyunSuddenAttack2

Who

SeolhyunSuddenAttack3

Could hate

SeolhyunSuddenAttack4

This?

No seriously, why does everyone seem to hate her? It makes no damn sense.

How I Would Deal With Dasom's Online T-ara Impersonator

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So Dasom has an Internet bully who obviously gets his inspiration from T-ara. This is how I would handle the situation if I was the CEO of Starship Entertainment.



Lawsuits will not work against deranged online bullies. Ignoring them will just cause the issue to get bigger, as the online bully will ramp up his attacks to get more attention. A drastic measure needs to be taken in order to deal with this problem once and for all.

My first step would be to trace the little shit down, which shouldn't be hard given how many cyber detectives there are among Korean netizens. After I find out his information thanks to netizens, I would hire a group of 6'5" 250 lb buff black dudes and send them to this guy's house so the black guys could beat the living shit out of him.

Naturally, this would lead to the online bully telling his side of the story about how he is a victim (getting his inspiration from Japan this time). So, if a dozen black dudes beating the shit out of you doesn't make you stop from harassing someone online, there's only one more way I could think of to make him stop.

I would take a group of reporters from Dispatch and other various news sites along with Dasom to the man's house. We would barge in and some of those big buff black dudes would hold the guy down and strip his clothes off. Dasom would put on a strap-on dildo. Not just any ordinary strap-on dildo, but one with the biggest circumference and length that she could find.

Dasom would proceed to peg the living shit out of him.

Without lube.

And the dude would start crying, and Dasom would use his tears as lube.

All of this would be filmed and distributed over the Internet.

After this, anyone who harassed any Starship idols would face the same treatment. Once they figured out their target idol was coming to peg them without lube, these online bullies would start doing ISIS-style apologies to save their anal virginity.

[MV Review] G-Friend - "Rough"

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Look I know I'm probably the only author on this site outside of Soyeon Friend that actually likes G-Friend but I feel like this song and video is worthy of a review since it's pretty awesome.


When GFriend debuted last year with "Glass Bead" I thought they had potential but thought their debut song was total weak-sauce. Since writing that review I've come around to "Glass Bead" quite a bit however I still think "Me Gustas Tu" was better and one of the best songs of 2015 (almost made my end-of-the year list) and it was actually MGT that made me a stan of theirs, as well as Sowon and Yuju.

However "Rough" is a new turn for them. It's not a sugar-filled happy song like their other tracks but it still remains upbeat and danceable and very 90's-ish. "Rough" is a lot more angst and dramatic, think along the lines of a much darker "Baby Baby". My favorite part of the song are violins during the chorus, they just take this song to bigger scale somehow. Oh and there's also that awesome guitar solo we also got in "Me Gustas Tu" making this song a winner in my book.

The music video matches the song as it feels more mature, darker, the girls make-up artist finally got their shit together. However the main course in any G-Friend video is the choreography. G-Friend are one of the few girl groups that actually get handed interesting looking choreography, and this holds up perfectly. We get more fluid dance moves as well as their sharp ones. The spins and SinB's clock move towards the end are some of the best parts of the music video for me. 

The worst would have to be when that stuffed bear came alive and started reaching for Yerin. What the hell was up with that? I would probably like it if this were a horror themed music video, but here that was just out-of-nowhere creepiness.

I will now take the time to address the gorgeousness of Sowon and Yuju:




Overall I'd say G-Friend has gone the right direction with their sound. I also like how they've further proven netizens as humongous fucking hypocrites. I wrote an arictle a while ago about netizens are fake vocal-lovers since they shit on groups that can't sing well, then when G-Friend debuted all they talked about was how they would go nowhere since they thought all of them were ugly. But I guess that doesn't matter now since "Rough" is now like #3 on Melon's chart. Gee, I wish my career could go nowhere like G-Friend's is.

Fancam Appreciation #19 - Girl's Day's Sojin

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This week's fancam comes courtesy of Kpopsteve. The world can never have enough Sojin.

Are there fancams that you want to nominate? Email them to antikpopfangirl@yahoo.com or tweet them to @antikpopfangirl.

Intro to J-Rock #1: moumoon

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After I posted that Radwimps music video over a week ago, people were requesting that I post some recommendations. As someone who used to listen to a lot of J-Rock before getting into K-Pop, I figured it wouldn't hurt to give some suggestions. 2015 was a great year in J-Rock and revitalized my interest in the genre after barely listening to it for the past decade, mainly due to many of my favorite bands disbanding combined with discovering K-Pop as it started getting really good (2008).



Song #1: Hello, Shooting Star (posted above)

I found this song by accident last year and fell in love this band. I used to visit this site for Japanese PVs before it became inactive last summer. I was looking for new Japanese music to listen to, and knew that I would hate 99% of the J-Pop posted and 95% of the J-Hiphop posted, so I figured I would try some rock songs.

"Hello, Shooting Star" combines a lot of things I love in music: light, airy vocals from a female vocalist, a light rock instrumental, and (well-done) ballads. Yuka's voice reminds me of some of my favorite Korean female soloists, such as Taru and Yozoh. Naturally, I was drawn to the song right away.

"Hello, Shooting Star" was my favorite song of 2015 and would have topped my list if I had made an all-inclusive Top Asian Songs of 2015 list.

Song #2: I'm Scarlet



This was the second song I listened to from moumoon, and it was a good contrast in style. This song features Yuka using the lower range of her vocals throughout the song. This is good (as you'll see in the next song posted) as it doesn't constrain moumoon to stick to one type of light rock sound.

I personally like how the slow verses build up to the faster-paced chorus until the last minute in which the whole song's tempo goes up a notch. That bridge near the end is the highlight of the song for me. Normally a song like this would have a bridge that is even slower than the typical verses, but not this song.

Song #3: Friend/Lover


The only music video I could find was listed on Jpopsuki, so unless you wanted to wait half an hour for the site to load, this AMV is all I could find that had the song.
Like I had mentioned earlier, Yuka's voice reminds me of Taru and Yozoh, and it shows it songs like this one. This is one of those light pop/rock songs showcasing Yuka's airy vocals...and I had to start stanning moumoon after listening to this song.
Song #4: The Most Distant Place in Heaven



This is one of my favorite slower songs from moumoon. I really dig the instrumental to this song, so I don't mind the slower pace of it.

This was just meant to be an introduction to moumoon. If you liked the songs you heard here, you can find many of their songs on YouTube and most of their albums are available on iTunes (except for their latest one). moumoon was my best discovery of 2015, and I am still digging deeper into the discography bit by bit.

Saturday Shitfest #34

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Po Minit is supposed to make their comeback really soon, and normally I would be hyped, but Skrillex worked on the song.

Sunday Shitpost #9

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Since this is the ninth installment of Sunday Shitpost, I figured this was as good as an excuse as any to play T-ara's No. 9.


News Story #1: Ariyoshi Risa - So Hot, So Bad At Singing



Ariyoshi Risa is a mixed Japanese-Korean, with her dad being Japanese and her mom being Korean. All I know is that she is 100% hot. However, there's no way she could debut in a K-Pop group. She would fit right in as the main vocalist in AKB48 (I'm dead fucking serious, this isn't a joke), but this girl needs at least a year of training before she could take a line or two in a pop song. If the K-Pop world doesn't work out for her, I'll fondly expect her debut as a lingerie model in Japan.

News Story #2: Heo Yoon Mi makes EXID's "Hot Pink" Listenable



fap fap fap

News Story #3: f(x) finally has a fanclub name

f(x) fans, I mean MeUs, can finally shut up about a fanclub name. I would rather just say "I'm an f(x) fan" than to say "I'm a MeU". You don't see me calling myself a Queen just because I'm a T-ara fan.

News Story #4: Oh Yeon Seo proves that every human has flaws

Oh Yeon Seo is incredibly hot, but alas, she's an EXO fan. I'm sorry, that's -1 points for her in my book (if she even cares, which she doesn't. Or maybe she would care if she thinks I look like Jaejoong...Hmm....)

News Story #5: Jungah graduates from After School

It's not like Jungah probably cares as she has the same number of activities today as she did a week ago.

Fucking.

Zero.

News Story #6: Rainbow hasn't disbanded yet, making a comeback

Now that Kara disbanded, maybe DSP will promote the group longer than two weeks this time. I doubt it, though.

News Story #7: Taeyeon to release a new single titled "Rain"



I'm just glad it's not a SNSD comeback. Can SNSD break up already?

Why The BTS X B-Free Feud is The Funniest Shit Of The Year Yet

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Who doesn't love KARA's Youngji's laugh?


To everyone pissed off at the situation: stop fuming for two seconds as I explain why you should chill the fuck out and laugh.


So a few years ago when BTS were still nugus went to an underground rap event and a rapper by the name of B-Free dissed them for being idol rappers. While his comments were hilarious (him being a tryhard too ya know?), it's expected that idol rappers will be getting shit thrown at them from rappers and nonrappers alike. I mean hell, we live in a day where Ravi from VIXX can release (or threaten to release) a diss track.


I see Jimin's doin' hood rat shit with his friend.

Two days later he gets back on Twitter and says that BTS fans have pissed him off so much that the next time he sees them he's going to bitch slap them. So as you can guess: he just added more fuel to the fire, a lot of more fuel to the fire.

While I'm a fan of BTS, I really don't take offense to B-Free dissing them, mostly because rappers dissing rappers is something that happens all the time. That's just one of the petty laws of show business. But also, BTS don't even give a fuck themselves. They made a song that addressed the issue and that left it at that. Now is B-Free a super try-hard that tries to act like he's so much more hep-hap because he disses idols meanwhile he shared a stage with Song Mino (rapper from WINNER) on "Show Me The Money"? Of course, but at the end of the day, he's one in a million more, Korean or not, who think the exact same way so I'm not going to go emberass myself on Twitter and other social media platforms because "OMG B-FREE DISSED MAH BTS OPPARS!!! MUST DIE!!!!" 



Jungkook, Chuck D has some choice words for you.

However this is some funny ass shit. Not it's not because it shows B-Free is even more of a mega attention seeking fuckboy than he was two years ago. No it's not because he waited two years apologize for something so petty that everyone already forgot about. No it's not because we have someone who is considered on the same try-hard level as Keith Ape thinking he's so authentic dissing a group who's actually self-aware about their image. No it's not because it shows the ridiculousness of BTS's fandom to get pissed off at something so old. It's not even because of B-Free's super back-handed apology where he thanks the people who hated on him and not those who supported him. It's not even how he pulled a 180 once the fans got so excessive and said he was going to "bitch slap" BTS. Nope, none of that is the funniest shit.

The funniest shit about this is that ARMY's were so fucking stupid when they tried to launch an attack on B-Free they got the wrong rapper. Instead they got B Free, a Detroit rapper who is actually a fan of BTS, and lashed out on him. 

BFreeAmerican1

Credits to Asian Junkie


How in the fuck do you get a Black dude from Detroit confused with an Asian dude from Honolulu??????? Did you not see his dp????? I knew the BTS fandom was trash but I didn't know they could be this stupid. Joonie needs to donate some of his IQ points to the fandom, fast.

But seriously, I laughed for like ten minutes straight when I saw those tweets and I'm laughing now as I type this. I had to retype this sentence like ten fucking times because I was laughing so hard. #BTSNBFreeAintNothinToFuckWit

Some fan also made this:


 I have no idea what that's referencing but it's still hilarious.

And now Detroit rapper BFree, being a better diplomat than B-Free took this situation to promote his mixtape:


BFreeAmerican2

I approve of this marketing strategy.

And it worked...for me at least. I took the time to listen to a couple a tracks. If you're not into Nu-School rap then you wont be too keen on it, but here's one that I liked:





However, Whyandotte (a rapper he's cool with) has a sound I'm more into:




Youngji Wants to Have Four Kids

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Youngji stated that she wants to have four kids.




Youngji is so hot that she could probably make her man jizz inside of her four times in 30 seconds. Unfortunately for her, it's highly unlikely that would result in four kids for her.

I think this is foreshadowing something ominous for Youngji's career. With Kara's breakup, does Youngji really trust that DSP will help her going forward? At best, Youngji will be able to go on various variety shows to make her money, and at worse she would be added to April. 





January: A Journey

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Good day to you all. Whilst last year I wrote an 'honours list' at the end of every month, it became somewhat stale to write, and I am sure to read, the 'worst of' sections due to most songs being bad by way of being intensely boring. This year, I intend to take some inspiration from James Joyce and write in a more 'stream of consciousness' style; creating a series that will only be entertainingly alliterative for one quarter of the year, leaving us all to survive the other nine months in quiet solemnity, waiting to be brought joy by the mediocre thrill of seeing the tiniest linguistic trick. Basically I will use a series of songs as a springboard for discussion and (hopefully) humour, hopefully this will make the series less repetitive. I will only be focusing on the music, with no outside news coming into it. Now that I have done my spiel, here's January, in whatever order I damn well please.






Dal Shabet's 'Someone Like U'started out 2016 on a brilliant note. We went a week without anything but worthless OST tracks before we were blessed with a song that betters a good number of songs on my top 15 of 2015. It's a timely return to form after the sadly underwhelming 'Joker', proving that the 80s aesthetic fits them perfectly, as well as being my favouritetrend in pop music as a whole currently. I did want to start out this series with something slightly more nuanced than me heaping praise on a song, but what can I say? I've listened to this song an unreasonable number of times, watched an unreasonable number of performances, stared longingly into Serri's eyes on an unreasonable number of occasions. This song is unreasonably good, Phil Collins-esque gated drums and all. I expect something of a saxophone quota on songs this year in response to how most labels have just been shat on by this masterpiece.


Next we have a collaboration that seems to be borne simply from slamming together two vaguely popular artists. I'm not going to pretend that I thought it would be interesting, and the video seems to understand this as they spared all expense by just having Suzy and Baekhyun sitting down for the entire thing. Mystic Entertainment is yet to clock that a boring song gives you free reign to create an interesting musicvideo, but they were happy to phone this one in and watch the money roll in. Capitalism is destroying us all.


Next up we have Jessi fulfilling her contractual obligation to keep her two friends relevant too. I find the song to be much better than Jessi's solo effort last year purely because it doesn't hurt my eardrums like 'Sseneunni' did. However, 'No Love' feels less like a song and more like lots of elements of a song haphazardly stapled together in the hope that this will form something of a complete package. The rap verses are pitifully short, leaving me little chance to care about J'Kyun or the other geezer, and the entire song just feels like one long chorus. I like the beat and no-one is bad per se, I just struggle to understand the purpose that this song is striving for.


'You Don't Know Love' definitely exists... That's all I've got.





I don't really know who Yoon Jogn Shin is, maybe that makes me a philistine. I think I quite like 'The First' in spite of the beat being comprised of 70s porn soundtrack samples. It's got a unique sound, which is worth lauding at least. No doubt this will be a grower and I will adore it come the end of the year, but currently it sits about level with UP10TION; the zone of pleasant indifference.



Baechigi's biggest failing is that they will never make a song as good as Baechigi by Blacknut. 'Walkak'is proof that they have no plan on doing so anytime soon. Whilst not a bad song, it is a step backwards from previous songs, such as the exquisite 'Dduraeyo'. It's a moody rap song with a sung chorus, these things are ten a penny and Baechigi aren't fooling us into thinking they are any different.


Less of this nonsense.



'I posit that TEEN TOP have never made a good song. 'Warning Sign' is pretending to be a decent song, and no doubt it is better than previous pieces of shit like 'Rocking''. This is what I was ready to write about 'Warning Sign'after a first listen but since I've had it on so that my brain can conjure up something derisive to say about it, I have come upon the unfortunate discovery that it's really rather good. Slow buildup, lush instrumentation, and pretty great performances all round. U-KISS will have to carry the flag for groups who have made exclusively bad songs now, TEEN TOP are off the hook.



Don't be sad that 'Sting'isn't as good as 'Vibrato', be pleased that we had Vibrato at all. No, Sting isn't bad and the video is very savvy and Hyoeun is still really hot, but even though this is better than a lot of songs this month, I'm constantly comparing it to a much superior song, which causes it to look relatively weak.



This beat sounds like GREEDER just threw the first three samples he found in Ableton Live together and then rolled with it. I think I like it, this kid is good, boost the meagre view count, loyal readers.



'Cider' is just 'Puss' if the performer actually felt dangerous in any way. Because of this it's pretty good, but I still don't like it as much as Puss for whatever reason, probably because Yezi is a good enough rapper that producers are happy for her to rap all over the beat rather than allow Rhymer to have a solo, as he did on every chorus of Puss. Even if Unpretty Rapstar 2 had to be such an appalling trainwreck, let Yezi's career be a good thing that comes from it.


Who's going to be the first to tell Zico that a) he can't sing, and b) we liked him last year because his songs understood how to be simultaneously obnoxious and satisfying, not because we found him to be a tasteful artist. Needless to say 'I Am You, You Are Me' is as bad as it sounds.


Let's end this on a positive. I generally expect quality from GFRIEND; they have cornered the market on sounding like if Infinite were a group of cute girls rather than angsty teens. 'Rough' is good, very good in fact; it has a sick guitar solo and everything. I can't say all that much about it though, it sounds like a slightly heavier GFRIEND song, and that's why it's very good; GFRIEND songs are good, and this is one of them. I recommend you watch the video as well, they have really cool choreo and it's really cute and shit.

Best of the Worst: Feb. 4, 2016

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Kpop's been all about ugly realities this week. I don't know why. If I wanted reality, I wouldn't be listening to all this kpop. But yeah, in this edition of Best of the Worst, you'll learn Big Bang's boring reality, the truth about 4Minute's latest album sales, and what those hot high heels do to your favorite female idols' bodies. 

Oh, yeah, and CL makes an appearance:

People still wear grills? It's 2016.

Reality is really scary sometimes.


    What a bunch of fatties!
    After I finish this pan of mac and cheese,
    I'm totally joining in on those comments.
  • Remember when 4Minute said their contract renewal depended on the success of their new album? Well, it's not looking so good for kpop's favorite hot mess. Let's just remember the good times we had with 4Minute. Sigh ... I miss the days when Hyuna didn't look like a meth addict. 
  • If you want to feel bad about Red Velvet, yourself, and humanity in general, read this (ugh, NetizenBuzz) post that includes a rundown of comments about how fat RV has gotten lately. It's like, after their promotions ended and SM let them start eating again, they gained weight. It's so weird how their bodies work. 


Fancam Appreciation #20 - Twice's Momo

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Okay, I'm surprised I waited this long to post a Momo fancam here. Did you see Momo's ass? You certainly did.

Are there fancams that you want to nominate? Email them to antikpopfangirl@yahoo.com or tweet them to @antikpopfangirl.

Kiritani Mirei in a Final Fantasy CM

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If Mirei was a Final Fantasy character, she would definitely have to be a White Mage. I would be a Black Mage and would cast Blizzard...in which a huge blizzard of semen would shoot out of my penis onto her face. I would then need Mirei to cast Revive and Curaga on my penis.

Weekly Showdown: Teen Top VS. Mature Top

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[Results of last Showdown here]



Okay I feel the need to express how I feel about the new concept Teen Top is going for and I thought I'd ask you guys for your opinions while I was at it. Teen Top is one of my favorite boy groups in K-pop. Or rather, was, because this new 'Mature Top' can seriously go fuck themselves for all I care. I get that they're growing up and shit but at least they used to have this really distinctive "Teen Top" sound to them before. Now they sound just like at least a hundred other boy groups out there. The only thing remotely reminiscent of their older days is "Ah-Ah" but that song is weak as fuck. "Warning Sign" and "I'm Sorry" were alright (albeit the latter was an R&B snoozefest that quickly got boring), but "Missing" and Niel's "Lovekiller" were a fucking yawn. And I just don't hear that signature sound of theirs anymore ever since this new "Mature Top" era started with "Missing". Gone is the Teen Top that used to make catchy and addictive music. Whatever happened to the "Crab Man", "Crazy", "Miss Right", "Be Ma Girl", "Supa Luv" (in all its auto-tuned glory) days?




I get that they're trying to grow and mature musically, and that's fine really, but they should do that while still sticking to their original sound and maintaining their individuality. Maybe they could have done something like "To You", one of their more mature concepts yet their catchiest song as of yet (and my favorite). "Warning Sign" just sounds a lot like something Boyfriend or their labelmate 100% (P.S. if anyone knows their whereabouts, please contact me) would do.

Anyway, that's my take on it. What do you guys think of the new Teen Top? Do you actually like their music or do you prefer their older songs? And what do you think will be the future of this group? Because I don't know about you, but it's hard for me to imagine them in a few years when they're all thirty and they're still called "Teen Top".



"Teen Top" or "Mature Top"?

Teen Top
Mature Top
Poll Maker

Things Kpopalypse likes in music: pedal-point harmony

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Three things I have noticed about my readership:
  1. They would like to know what I'm talking about with some of my fancy-ass music terms
  2. They seem to dig my technical posts for some unknown reason
  3. They are interested in more information on why I like or dislike certain songs
So here's a little post about pedal-point harmony - a musical term that I refer to quite often.  What the fuck is it?  Kpopalypse will explain all!  Although this is a music theory post, you won't need to know anything about music to understand this post, because I'm going to attempt to explain pedal-point harmony in a way that any drooling fangirl can understand.  Or maybe not, but we'll certainly talk a lot about drooling fangirls on the way, just for fun.  Don't forget your napkin!

harahead


All sound is vibration of molecules.  When a sound is generated from a singer or instrument, the vibration of the singer’s vocal cords or instrument vibrates nearby air molecules which also start going from side to side.  These molecules bump onto other air molecules until they eventually get to your ear, where they bump into the hairs in your ear that then also start going from side to side.  Because your brain is super-Boram-genius, it then converts those hair movements into brainwaves and that’s how you get to hear "NOW BLOW IT LIKE A FLUTE, WOO OOOH, WOO OOOH OOOH”, aren't you lucky.

Yes I just copy-pasted the above paragraph from my post explaining why MR Removed videos all suck and changed it a little because I'm lazy, but here's where it gets different.  When we hear a note that is high and then one that is low, the difference between the two notes is actually a difference in
determinationvibration levels.  Sounds that sound higher actually vibrate faster than notes which sound lower, and this quality of vibration speed is called "pitch".  In textbook music theory pitch is measured by letters and positions on a musical stave, as per below:

pitchhz

However we're not going to worry about that letters-and-positions crap for now because I don't need to get into music notation in order to explain how pedal point harmony works (although I might do more textbook music theory posts in the future if people show enough interest), for now we're just going to focus on the vibration frequency, which is measured in Hz (Hertz - vibrations per second).
While the frequencies of vibration are important as they do determine pitch, they are not important in isolation, it's the relative differences between vibrations that are important.  Let's consider this fangirl:

fangirl

This EXO fangirl loves EXO's Kai with all her heart, so therefore she considers all experience relative to Kai.  In the above picture, Kai is 6823km away from our fangirl and therefore not visible, so she is relatively calm.  However what happens if we bring Kai to within only a few metres distance?

fangirl2

As the relative distance between the fangirl and Kai decreases, the relative crazy increases.  It's difficult to measure precise levels of crazy, but distance is easy to measure.  The important point to consider is that from the fangirl's persepctive Kai's exact location doesn't matter, nor does the fangirl's own location - only the relative distance between the two locations.  Bringing Kai to the fangirl and bringing the fangirl to Kai would therefore both have the same effect, regardless of the location.

fangirl3

Any sudden increase in distance would also have the same effect of the fangirl becoming less crazy.  It wouldn't matter if the increase in distance was because Kai was running away from the fangirl, or from the fangirl getting pushed across the room focefully by security, or both as shown below - the distance still relatively increases.



Likewise, if Kai was running away from the fangirl but the fangirl was also running to catch Kai at an equal speed, it could be said that there is no relative difference in distance between them both, and therefore no meaningful effect on the fangirl's state of mind.



In music, similar principles exist - all sound is relative to a fixed Hz sound-point.  If someone plays a piece that starts with one note at a specific pitch, this pitch (usually) becomes the point which everything else is then determined and measured against.  This is a powerful and important concept in music theory called the "key" (not Key from SHINee - calm down) and the note that forms the basis of the key is called the "root note" (nothing to do with the Australian definition of "root").  The way that any future notes in the piece are heard is relative to this "root note".  Keys in western music can be "major" or "minor", I won't bother to explain this in detail here but this relates to the distance between the "key note" and the other notes around it, often (but not always) in the form of a "chord" or group of notes.  The important point being, the importance of these notes is still defined by their relationship in distance to the "root note".  Just like with the fangirls chasing their oppa, distance is everything.

Harmony is a word for what happens when more than one note is played at the same time, and harmonies also have a "root" which is (usually) the lowest (least vibratey) note of the harmony.  Usually these harmonies are in the form of chords.  During songs harmonies tend to change over time, because a song with only one harmony in it can get boring.  The most common type of pop harmony is the "four chords" setup but many varieties exist.

Most harmonies in pop music move in parallel - when one notes moves the other notes move in the same direction at about the same distance.  Imagine a song with changing chords, where the lower note is Kai running away and the higher notes are the fangirls chasing him down the street waving their mobile phones and used maxipads.  There is movement, but because the movements are roughly equal, not much is really changing.  A good example of parallel harmony in a song's backing track would be Juniel's "Pretty Boy" where the harmony is based around shifting guitar chords.  (In fact there are many songs like this but I picked this one because Juniel probably could use the tiny amount of exposure that being in a Kpopalypse post entails more than most of them.)



A pedal point harmony happens when the movement isn't parallel, however nor is it directly opposed as in the case of Kai running away while the fangirl gets slapped down by security.  Pedal point harmony has one harmony element that stays consistent while other music elements of the harmony change around it, like a k-pop idol running away while their fan lies on the ground in despair, their dreams of stealing oppa's heart in tatters.  Although there's less movement overall, the actual effect to the listener is of more movement because the distance between the static and moving parts keeps changing, and it's that distance which is all-important for the brain's perception of harmony.  This is what makes pedal-point harmony musically an interesting harmonic choice, at least to Kpopalypse.
The other part of why I like pedal-point harmony is because the type of pedal point harmony that is in a lot of k-pop isn't the jazz type where different chords are played over static bass, but the type that frequently occurs in heavy metal - static riffs over changing lower harmonies.  As someone who grew up on a diet of heavy metal music, it's nice to hear some influences of this style resonate in the pop sphere.  In the following classic Iron Maiden song the main riff is introduced over two different bassnotes from 0:12, and then a third bassnote is added to the same sequence at 1:21.  The repetitive riff actually sounds less repetitive because of the lower harmony that's moving under it.



Of course, I wouldn't expect every reader to give a shit about Iron Maiden, and it wouldn't be a Kpopalypse post without k-pop examples, so here we go with some examples of pedal-point harmony as applied to k-pop:



Crayon Pop might be all about punk ideology but their ultra-rocking "FM" is kpop-gone-heavy-metal complete with distorted guitars, explosions, cartoon violence and of course pedal point harmony.  No wonder soft pussy Korean pop fans with their wimpy R&B-liking music taste hated it - it was way too musically extreme for those weak fucks.  The main high synth riff at 0:24 completes a cycle over the top of a "four chords" harmony but the actual notes don't change, however the relative distance between each note and the chord's root changes with each playing of the riff, giving the listener the effect of four riffs rather than one.



One of the many little details buried in the mix of Rainbow's brilliant and largely misunderstood "Black Swan" is that the main keyboard riff that drives the chorus from 1:03 plays again at near-subliminal volume over completely different chords at 1:12.  Even Rainbow fans probably didn't even notice this subtle pedal-point harmony addition.



Almost any upbeat KARA song could be used as an example for this post, but "Pandora" will do.  The main riff starts at 0:21 and relates two and a half more times over gradually descending backings before ending with some kind of weird whammy thing just to drive home the point that KARA at their peak were the queens of metal.

It's easy to get confused by all this though, so here's some examples of what pedal-point harmony is not:



A song that might sound like pedal point harmony to some ears but actually is not, is D.Holic's "Murphy & Sally".  Note how when the chorus steps down in pitch at 1:30, the main synth riff follows with exactly the same type of step-down.  This is actually parallel harmony - both elements changing at the same rate, by the same amount.



f(x)'s Indian-classical-influenced "Rum Pum Pum Pum" doesn't actually have any harmony changes at all, at least not in the sense of western music theory.  Both the bass and everything above it are essentially static.



Lim Kim's hideous "Awoo" lives in a kind of ambiguous area which can't really be classed as pedal-point harmony because the main fingernails-across-a-blackboard keyboard riff is the same length as the entirely of the four chords that it cycles over, so it's all part of the same "loop".  However the song does still have a very pedal-point sound to it nevertheless just due to the sheer ear-grating one-note repetition of the riff's structure.



Speaking of slicing your ears up and putting them in a bin forever, the undisputed worst song of 2015 plus possibly the worst trap song in the history of the form "It G Ma" does actually feature bassline changes with static higher backings, but that's probably sheer laziness on the part of the producers rather than by design, because trap music always has incredibly lazy production, the entire style only exists because Three 6 Mafia were too stoned in 1991 to figure out how to use the speed control on their drum machine.  Trufax.



Hopefully if you didn't know about this shit, this post has helped you understand pedal point harmony a bit better, and if you already did know about this shit - good for you, you can talk to people on the Internet about how you already knew about stuff in a Kpopalypse post!  Either way, hopefully you managed to wring some small semblance of entertainment value out of it!  Kpopalypse will return with more posts soon!

harafoot4

Saturday Shitfest #35

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I almost forgot to write today's Saturday Shitfest. I found out that Mamamoo released a new song. I know a lot of people like the group, but I still haven't warmed up to the group yet. I know that I would run my tongue up and down Moonbyul's buttcrack, though. Does that count for anything?

The Ultimate K-pop Music Awards Show 2015: Nominees List

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Will CL be anywhere in this article? Probably. And I'm sure you all know where. Nonetheless, this is a cool fucking picture of her and you should admit it.

It's been a minute but the results of the survey are finally in. Will your favorite idols be in the nominees list this time? Keep reading to find out who made it to the second round of UKMAS.





Best Song


1. Stellar - "Vibrato"





2. 4Minute - "Crazy"




3. Gfriend - "Me Gustas Tu"





4. Nine Muses - "Hurt Locker"




5. F(x) - "4 Walls"




6. Red Velvet - "Dumb Dumb"




7. Oh My Girl - "Closer"





Wow not even one male act made it here. AKF readers will forever be unimpressed with male idols, considering the amount of people that answered "who gives a shit" for the Best Dance - Male category.


Best Music Video


1. IU - "Twenty-three"




2. Red Velvet - "Dumb Dumb"




3. BTS - "I Need U"




4. Wonder Girls - "I Feel You"




5. BTS - "Run"




6. Stellar - "Vibrato"




7. F(x) - "4 Walls"






Best Album


1. F(x) - "4 Walls"



2. Red Velvet - "The Red"




3. BTS - "The Most Beautiful Moment in Life" (Part one and two are considered the same album)





4. Wonder Girls - "Reboot"




5. EXO - Exodus




6. IU - "Chat-Shire"




7. Twice - "The Story Begins"





Best Dance (Male)


1. EXO - "Call Me Baby"




2. GOT7 - "If You Do"




3. BTS - "Dope"




4. Infinite - "Bad"




5. SHINee- "View"




6. SHINee - "Married to the Music"




7. Seventeen - "Mansae"






Best Dance (Female)


1. Gfriend - "Me Gustas Tu"




2. Gain - "Paradise Lost"




3. Red Velvet - "Dumb Dumb"




4. 4Minute - "Crazy"




5. Nine Muses - "Hurt Locker"




6. Twice - "Like OOH-AHH"




7. F(x) - 4 Walls





Worst Song


1. CL - "Hello Bitches" (Surprise surprise)




2. Big Bang - "Bang Bang Bang"




3. EXID - "Hot Pink"




4. iKON - "Rythm Ta"




5. Girls' Generation - "Lion Heart"




6. Girls' Day - "Ring My Bell"




7. Girls' Generation - "Party"





Vote here.

Sunday Shitpost #10

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It's time for another round of shitposting. Kris, pictured above, proves that just about anyone can become an idol.



News Story #1: People still care about Kris

Without SM's awesome makeup team, it looks like Kris is trying his best to join a Mexican gang in LA.

News Story #2: GFriend swept the music shows this week


I honestly expected GFriend to never accomplish anything. In hindsight, it looks like Shinbi made the right choice in leaving AKF to pursue a music career. 

If you haven't listened to the 2x version yet, make sure to do so. The sped-up instrumental makes the song much better, though the original is pretty good itself.



If Hyunyoung's picture alone isn't enough to get you excited for Rainbow's comeback, well, I have two words for you:


























FUCK YOU!


News Story #4: Some former members of A-JAX escape DSP's dungeon

I salute those brave soldiers who suffered so much. I would feel bad about the new guys who joined the group, but they made this choice knowing how shit DSP is as a company.

News Story #5: Hyomin teaming up with Ryan Jhun for comeback


UCAAD created Red Velvet's "Dumb Dumb," so I am excited for the song...if I remember that it even comes out. These days, I usually don't find out a song has come out until it's a week old. Oh well, I just Hyomin looks hot in the MV (that shouldn't be too hard, but you know the "artistic" types who have to try to make themselves look outrageously retarded.)

News Story #6: I found two new waifus through the dramas I'm watching

Credit: aitoda

Credit: aitoda
First one is Fukada Kyoko, who is in the currently airing J-drama "Please Love The Useless Me" (Dame na Watashi ni Koishite Kudasai). She's hot, I'd pee in her butt. etc. etc.


The other one is Ivy Shao, who played Victoria's younger sister in the C-drama "Beautiful Secret" that aired last month and she's in the currently airing TW-drama "Back to 1989".

[MV...Review?] 4minute - Hate (This Piece of Shit "Song")

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Well, 4minute is now auditioning to join YG with "Hate". Read below to see why a song with a lot of potential will be remembered as one of the worst songs of 2016.

Upon listening to "Hate," I was expecting some kind of epic rock ballad by the way it starts out. It's a well-worn path, and it generally works. I didn't even mind the warbles introduced with Hyuna's verse, as it wasn't overbearing the rest of the instruments. Even the added electronic beats added to Sohyun's verse didn't bother me. Sure, at this point, this song was a bit disjointed, and I was willing to wait to see if these different instrumentals would end up blending together.

Then a tragedy happens. We are subject to a chorus featuring a robot who farted into an empty metal trash can in the studio. The music producer, obviously stoned or drunk at the time, thought it would be a good idea to use this as a chorus of a song.

The chorus is so bad it ruins whatever good parts the rest of the song had. Without a good chorus, I don't give a fuck about the rest of the song. However, the rest of the song was just as disjointed as the first minute of the song.

If your fetish is robots farting into a metal trash can with hot Asian girls singing to the "beat," then this song will be up your alley. For the rest of us, move on.
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