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AKF's Top 10 Idols of the New Generation

May 28, 2016, 3:28 pm
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With many of the established groups peaking and starting to either (1) focus on solo activities, (2) focus on Japan and/or China, (3) stop giving any sorts of fucks, or (4) a combination of all of the above, many people find newer groups to start liking in addition to the groups one already likes. The latest generation of idols have debuted a ton of girls who are ready to take the mantle.

For this generation, I'm considering it starting from Red Velvet's debut. The Big 3 essentially determine the next generation whenever they debut new groups.

There's going to be 20 fancams (2 per idol), so just be warned if you're using mobile and don't want all of your data wasted or have a slower Internet connection and need time for all of the videos to load.

10. Dia/I.O.I's Chaeyeon





I have really started paying attention to Chaeyeon in the past week, and I didn't pay much attention to Dia's debut and I didn't watch Produce 101 (I was too busy at work to watch it when it aired). I've just seen a lot of posts about her on One Hallyu and thought she was pretty hot.

9. Lovelyz' Kei





Lovelyz' aegyo queen, in actuality, Kpop's aegyo queen, deserves a spot just for being so damn cute. To appease vocalfags (not really), she's the main vocalist of the group, but I didn't learn that until very recently. Maybe that's because she doesn't vocally masturbate in every song.

8. Red Velvet's Yeri





Yeri could have become the Hwayoung of Red Velvet, but she didn't because she has two qualities that Hwayoung doesn't: visuals and determination. Yeri is incredibly cute, but I think in about three-four years she could have a transformation like Jiyeon had in her early 20s.

7. Twice's Nayeon





Twice's best Korean makes the list for being incredibly cute and for being one of the funniest members in the group. Once Suzy leaves JYP, expect Nayeon to take her spot. Luckily Nayeon isn't a fat whore.

6. Lovelyz' Jisoo





It took a while for Jisoo to debut because of her scandal, but I can't blame the female antis that made up that rumor. If I identified as a female lesbian, I also would want Jisoo to insert buttplugs in my ass.

5. Twice's Sana





Twice's sexy-cuty goofball could have made the list based on her idol persona alone, but it doesn't hurt one bit that she's incredibly attractive.

4. Twice's Mina





Mina is otherworldly. One could dedicate their whole life writing poems about how we are not worthy to have Mina's presence on this desolate planet.

3. Cosmic Girl's Cheng Xiao





WJSN's Cheng Xiao is the perfect mix of being cute and sexy at the same time. Her meaty thighs could crush any fanboys head in an instant. Her Chun Li impersonation is on point.

2. Twice's Momo





Twice's resident lesbian has eight girls that she wants to turn gay, and I doubt it'll be hard for her at all given how hot she is and how ridiculous her body is. Momo has that athletic body type that I really like.

1. Red Velvet's Irene





Irene is a goddess, it's just that pure and simple. I'm also thankful that Irene doesn't make me so old (we're about the same age) compared to all of the younger girls on the list.
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suho_ftw's 10 Male Biases

May 29, 2016, 12:39 pm
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I edited this slightly from my original post on my blog so that it's a lot cleaner looking and not as drawn out.

This post isn't very man-meaty and most boy group stans don't care for most of these idols so that should tell you how much your biases may or may not align with mine.

I'll try to include some type of clip or fancam to spice the lists up.


10. Woohyun (Infinite)


Ever since I became an Infinite fan I've latched onto Woohyun. He has one of the best voices in the group and is also insanely hot. He has a rather quiet personality however from what I've seen, he's still very entertaining.


9. Ilhoon (BtoB)


Ilhoon is hands down one of the funniest and most entertaining members of BtoB which is saying a lot since BtoB is already a pretty entertaining group. Ilhoon used to be higher on the list but BtoB's music has been very lax as of late (their last good song being from 2014) so naturally other groups came in, however Ilhoon will always hold my attention.


8. Leo (VIXX)


Leo is really the only member of VIXX outside of N that I really pay attention to. His "hard", and introverted persona makes him standout in a group full of goofballs, on top of that he's also super attractive along with a distinctive voice that I can pick out in any VIXX song gives him a plus.



7. Moonkyu/Timoteo (Hotshot)


For those like me who knew of pre-debut EXO, then you'll know why I got stuck on calling him Moonkyu. However he's with the nugu-of-nugu's rookie group Hotshot now. Like I give a fuck since I like Hotshot's music and Moonkyu is still adorable as fuck.



(I like this vid for the dancing but also because he looks like a sheep)

6. Mark (Got7)

#GOT7 #MARK:

Mark's been my favorite Got7 member since their debut, while Jackson is the stan attractor and JB is so insanely hot he might as well be from a more advanced staged of human, Mark's always been the more down-to-earth and friendly member of the group which caught my attention. It doesn't hurt that he also pretty damn gorgeous. I don't find video game characters attractive, but Mark reminds me of them, however that might have to do with his crazy aerodynamics. 



5. Hoshi (Seventeen)

fyhoshi: “ “순간포착 | do not edit ” ”

Most people who know Seventeen are probably scoffing because out of the thirteen members, Hoshi isn't the first one they'd go. However that is perfectly fine with me as I think He makes a perfect idol. Great dancer, good singer, awesome entertainer, and a great combination of cute and sexy. 



4.) Suho (EXO)


Duh. 

Suho is the best EXO member not because he's done trying but because he never gave a fuck in the first place, yet still managed to carry the group as a leader. He's just there to do his job as an idol, nothing extra. I respect that. (However I would enjoy some pictorials more than once every blue moon.)



3. G-Dragon (Big Bang)


I know I've shitted on him and Big Bang more than a fair amount both in person and on blogs however that doesn't really stop him from being one of the first idols I stanned hard core back when I first got into K-pop as well as enjoying most of his solo material. Do I think he is a musical genius that needs to be worshiped at his feet? No. But I do find him creative, interesting and his solos are always fun for me so he remains high up. The only thing good about "Bang Bang Bang" was the fact that they dyed his hair red. Gosh it looks good on him.



Mute it if you must.

2. Jimin (BTS)


Most of you probably expected Jimin to be high on this list. Jimin is a great idol and much like Hoshi is good at everything from dancing, singing and variety. He has flat out amazing visuals, and a rather warm persona which is well welcomed from a male idol and also something I find incredibly attractive.



This fancam. Always relevant.

1. Onew (SHINee)

Jinki's instagram update onew so cute:

SHINee was the first boy group that I really got into. Onew was the first male idol I really got into and several years later he's still pretty much #1 (the spot is cemented.) He seems genuinely happy. Not int he sense that he's always smiling and never upset, but in a much more human way. He radiates attraction with his visuals being a combination of cute and handsome with a great smile. He has a very chill and relaxed vibe making him easy to like and he performs with a great passion (which is honestly one thing I really like about SHINee overall.) He also owns one of the best voices in K-pop-it's distinctive, thick and very soothing to listen to. Onew is just overall on a whole different level than other idols.


No. Words.

SOURCE



None.

SOURCE

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suho_ftw's 10 Female Biases

May 29, 2016, 12:40 pm
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Again, much like my male bias list, this has been edited again to be more clean and much less drawn out.

While I do stan both male and female groups equally, I tend to stan more females. I've never known why but I've always just thought that since I'm a female, I'd relate to females a bit more. 

My male idol post wasn't real meaty, and this isn't very fanservicy either. I've included some fancams or clips to add to the list.


10. Cheng Xiao (WJSN)


Super funny, super pretty, adorable, body goals and those flips. Cheng Xiao's a rookie and is already apart of this list, she could honestly go up some spots once WJSN promote some more.



9. Moonbyul (MAMAMOO)


Moonbyul is a BAMF, she adds a bit of flavor in MAMAOO's songs given that she's a rapper and I love her on variety. 



8. Soyeon (T-ara)


My T-ara bias always fluctuated between Soyeon and Jiyeon but I settled on Soyeon in 2014. I enjoy her no-bullshit attitude and she has this short of angelic prettiness to her.


7. Sana (TWICE)


In my original list Sana wasn't there, mainly because I had typed up the list months prior to publishing it and fell lazy on editing it. But anyways, Sana's on it now and it's almost guaranteed she'll move up in time. I loved her in "Sixteen" however I first saw her in "Like Ooh-Ahh" and loved the comic relief stuff she offered. She's cute, and funny, super duper pretty. Like really pretty. She's one of the prettiest idols I've ever seen.


6. Jiyoon (4Minute)


Jiyoon is an original BAMF. She excudes a confidence when performing that I'm very fond of while also being funny and hella good-looking. It's a shame Cube didn't do more with her, and it's an even bigger shame that when they did try, it was Unpretty Rapstar of all things they could have done.



5. Seolhyun (AOA)


I honestly think Seolhyun's antis have been doing her more good than bad. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have noticed how awesome she is. (This was before the big scandal, and that's now being dragged way out of proportion.)




4. Yein (Lovelyz) + Seulgi (Red Velvet)

Yein:

CgQL-gaUIAAtwf_.jpg

Yein's great, and not just because she looks like the offspring of Seolhyun and Jungkook but because she's a manknae with a personality outside of just "maknae." You'd have to get into Lovelyz in order to know what I mean. Yein has a tomboyish charisma that I really admire given that she's very confident at a tender age.




Seulgi:



Seulgi, also like Yein, is a great all-round idol in that she can sing great and dance great too. Entertaining and mega photogenic. I've been stanning her since Red Velvet's debut and she's been able to deliver well on variety as well.

I mean damn, girl can work a camera.


3. Seungyeon (KARA) 


Although she's technically not an idol anymore, she still holds a spot on this list. She has a hardworking, sweet and down-to-earth personality that I've always liked. And, I personally find her to be the prettiest idol overall. It was sad to see KARA go, however I'm glad to see that she's going to be branching out into other fields. Long live Hammie!




2. Krystal (F(x))


Krystal is a mystery which is part of the reason why I like her. She's not necessarily an open book which makes her all the more interesting, however she's not boring on variety and actually genuinely tries to make things work. However it always winds up backfiring on her in one way or another, and this I am extremely empathetic with her on. She always gets critizied for her "attitude" or Resting Bitchface however what many people fail to realize is that Krystal is pretty much a pro at her career and outside of the netizen bullshit (that in the end doesn't really matter), she's had pretty much smooth sailings. 


1. Taeyeon (SNSD)



Taeyeon was the first female idol I ever stanned. She's very dorky, entertaining, and carries SNSD well. Also a closet Harry Potter and Disney fan. I like that she's been showing a more sassy side as of late, and #KimchiSneakyBitch will forever be relevant. Overall Taeyeon is a great entertainer and pretty much had the #1 spot on lock.



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Twice Ends "Cheer Up" Promotions

May 30, 2016, 2:22 am
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Twice ended their "Cheer Up" promotions yesterday with another win on Inkigayo and retrospectively won Music Bank after losing to AOA on Friday.

Now I have nothing to write about until Twice comes back...
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[MV Review] Luna - Free Somebody

May 30, 2016, 8:48 am
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Luna makes her solo debut, satiating anyone's desire for an unlikely f(x) comeback this year.



"Free Somebody" is a dance track that could have easily been included in f(x)'s "4 Walls" album and been one of the best songs on the album. The song's groovy beat still has be jamming along as I write this review. If you like dance/EDM music, stop fapping to the Krystal nudes you found on Kfapfakes and start jamming to Luna's "Free Somebody".

To the vocalfags, Luna threw you guys a bone and gave a three second obligatory vocalfag-pleasing note-belting. Thankfully the vocalfagging was short and didn't detract from the rest of the song.

On to the MV, who ever directed it must have been on acid and watching "Heavy Metal". There's no real analysis to it, because you can't really analyze something so abstract that was created by someone who accidentally ate some of Bom's candy.

Prediction: Korea ignores this jam because Luna didn't appeal to the talent and vocalfags.
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[MV Review] BTS (Bangtan Boys) - "Save Me"

May 31, 2016, 12:00 am
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BTS released their second promotional track "Save Me" which might cements their spot as my new favorite boy group.


My #1 favorite boy group for years has been SHINee but that honor now goes to BTS. Out of eleven tracks they have released, I've only disliked, which was "Boy In Luv". I could shit on that song for days. Just thinking about that it makes me cringe. Their Japanese releases are another story though.

I know a lot of you will accuse me of "BTS-fagging" or whatever but if a group keeps on releasing solid track after solid track, then I'm going to keep praising their stuff while shitting on the garbage. And if the good shit outweighs the bad shit, I'm not going to start reaching for and making up bad shit just to appease to more people.



Jungkook continues to wreck my bias list.


Anyway, the song is great. As someone who loved "Fire" and will be replaying that song a lot, I will be replaying "Save Me" a lot more. Which is weird because it's fucking BTS doing a ballad. Or the closest thing we'll ever get to them doing one. However it's not the standard OST ballads that K-pop has become so accustomed , but rather a sound inspired by Dance Hall(?) (possibly Tropical House, someone please correct me.) The melody is gorgeous and what makes this song stands out among other BTS songs, is that there is just as much singing, if not more, than rapping. Speaking of the rapping, it's not to harsh on the ears and sticks to the mellow vibe of the song.

This song isn't done with surprises as it contains another one: 60%-70% is sung by Jimin. Typically most of the vocal work goes to Jungkook, which is expected since he's the best singer in the group. However it's a nice change to see Jimin carry a song. 




The visuals in the video are about as stripped down as possible, and is honestly fine with me. Not every music video can be "I Need U" and "Run", and this dance version works better with the song than a story-driven music video in my opinion. All of the members look good, the only one that really stands out is V with that bright ass pink hair. But other than that, no one got shafted here.


I just felt like posting some Yoongi here.

So overall "Save Me" was full of surprises, but very well done surprises and an overall fantastic track.
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Nayeon Throws Opening Pitch...

May 31, 2016, 3:23 am
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...while getting fucked in the ass. And people like to say that Twice has no talent.
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[MV Review] CLC - No Oh Oh

June 1, 2016, 12:00 am
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CLC is among the million girl groups making a comeback now. Am I complaining? Hell no. Summer is an awesome time for Kpop because of the large number of girl group comebacks.



"No Oh Oh" is a good song. It has a bit of pop and hiphop mixed in to make it a lively song. It does a good job of making the verses interesting to listen to with the whistles mixed in with the beat. Even the chorus is catchy enough without overdoing it on the "No no" parts.

The Kpop gods must have listened to me again, as the rap section was confined to one section near the end of the song. It took Kpop producers almost 20 years to realize that raps shouldn't be inserted into the song everywhere for a few seconds at a time.

The song does a lot well, but nothing outstanding to make it truly stand out among all of the songs that will come out this summer. However, it is an easy song to repeat (and I've been repeating it a lot), and it gives CLC something to work off of for future comebacks.

The girls (minus Sorn) look good, and the MV does a great job at limiting Sorn's screen time. I don't have a favorite member yet, but I am liking Elkie and Eunbin.


Eunbin is incredibly...

*hears whispers*

"Who is that?" I ask.


Mother fucker.
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[MV Review] April - Tinkerbell

June 2, 2016, 12:00 am
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Now that Kara has disbanded, will DSP actually start trying with April? After a really rough 2015, April has its work cut out.



Anything that could have gone wrong with a debut went wrong for April. Sojin, one of the DSP trainees trying to get into Kara, and later April, committed suicide. Then Somin, the only hot member in the group, withdrew from the group after one promotion cycle. While those issues are bad, they shouldn't really affect the quality of April's music. However, April's music was the equivalent of expecting a bowl of chocolate ice cream at an ice cream shop and instead getting a hot steaming puddle of baby diarrhea served in a used diaper.

With the release of "Tinkerbell," April is taking a step in the right direction. The song is good enough for me to review. I didn't even want to touch their music videos from last year in fear that I would get the music equivalent of genital warts. If you like lighthearted pop songs such as what A Pink and GFriend release, this song is worth checking out. Otherwise, avoid it.

This group really needs to add a member who is hot, though.
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[MV Review] AOA - Ai wo Choudai

June 3, 2016, 12:00 am
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This is really weird for me. It's a mixture of what I listened to as a high schooler and now what I listen to as an adult. I used to listen to T.M. Revolution a lot ten years ago, and even when he started his rock band Abingdon boys school. T.M. Revolution usually has songs with a fast beat, so I had good faith going into the song that it wouldn't suck gigantic tentacle penis.

The song is good, but it has a Jekyll and Hyde problem. Some of the verses of the really, really bland and the bridge is unremarkable, However, the other half of the verses and the chorus are backed by a really strong instrumental. It's just a little jarring to have the song go from boring to pumping several times.

Another positive is that this collaboration actually worked. T.M. Revolution blended well into the song and didn't draw too much spotlight from the girls. Even he knows people are watching the MV and live performances for AOA.




This is a good start for AOA in Japan when it comes to original songs. Given how barren landscape for good pop producers in Japan, we probably can't ask for much more than this. 
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POSITIVE posht - Kangin (Super Juniors)

June 3, 2016, 3:03 am
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heeeeeeyyyyy caonimas! its time for a positive posht
kangin01
Kangin






















so pepll keep asking me 'when am i going to do positive pshyt kangin' and the answer is NOW YA CUNTS

kangin02
Kangin
fuckin kanging was fuckin FUCK he was drunk and he went for a drive and hit a poll
kangin03
Kangin Super Jinours

i dont see what so bad about it its not like he hit a person or anything ahtough he culd have but he didnt man,
kangin05
Kangin























ppelpe actin like hes a murderer must be the most well loved poll in south korea, he hit a polls in south career and his korea went south hahahahahahaha but just jokes cos hes me mate
kangin04
Kangin

i like you kangin cos australians get drunk and drive all the time so its liklie hes one of us, honourary australian MATE
kangin06
Kangin

the other day i was doin stuff and a mate sai dhey you like kpop a dn i said yeh and he said fuck off cunt and i said no u fuck off cyunt, then i smashhed that cunt for being such a oloser, no i didn't really cos i love everyone man i just puinched the wall but it hurt like i smashed him hey, fucking love you kanging
kangin07
Kanging

i am non violence i love all my readers, i just wanna say kanging i put my arm around him and go i love you MAAAATE, i love you maaaaaaaaaate MAAAAAATE
kangin08
KANGING SUper Juniors

fucking love you <MMAAAAAATE, you are so beutiful i love all my readers come to austrlaia i buy you a beer mate fuckn lets get pissed cunt
kangin11
Kaingin

in fact i think i had enough to drink now kangin lets go home hey i drive ya in my new commodore VH its got new mags its fully sick
kangin09
KANGING


hey why you looking at me like that kainging, its my car cunt
kangin12
k anging


WHATS WRONG WITH THE WAY I DRIVE, I LIKE TO DRIVE









fucin cunt
kangin13
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Amanda Chou

June 4, 2016, 6:04 am
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AKF here with important investigative journalism here. Amanda Chou, the second female lead in the currently-airing Taiwanese drama "Love at Seventeen," is pretty hot.










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How AKF Ruined AOA - Part One

June 4, 2016, 9:03 am
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For the best understanding of the background for this fanfic, be sure to read the following fanfics from 2014:

Fanfic Fridays: AKF Bangs Every Member In Popu Lady

Thus Spake Jiyeonthustra

Kpopalypse and AKF's Red Light Mission - Part 1

Kpopalypse and AKF's Red Light Mission - Part Two

Kpopalypse and AKF's Red Light Mission - Part Three


"Damn, I thought heaven would be much better," AKF said to Brave Brothers. "Then again, I'm surprised I made it here after blowing both of us up."

"Well, I'm still collecting royalties even dead," laughed Brave Brothers. "Luckily I had created plenty of songs for AOA to use through 2015," sighed Brave Brothers. "However, they have a comeback soon and I ran out of songs for them to use. I need to return to Earth soon so that I can make more money."

"Well, it looks like Kpopalypse is the only one who wants to stay up here in heaven," AKF said as he could hear moans in the next room. God had given Kpopalypse some clones of Raina and he literally spent every waking moment having an orgy with a bunch of Rainas. He actually was in his own heaven,

"Yeah, I doubt he wants to join us any time soon," AKF said. "Anyway, it's time to appeal to God to let us go back down to Earth."

"Sure, I need to go back and save K-pop before Duble Sidekick ruins it for the rest of us," said Brave Brothers as he snapped his fingers and changed his hat. "I need a ghetto looking hat," said Brave Brothers as he kept on snapping his fingers, with a new hat replacing the old one each time.

"You're going to trigger someone by saying that," AKF told Brave Brothers.

"Nigga, you have been spending too much time possessing the spirit of that white, fat neckbeard who eats casserole all the time in his mom's basement," retorted Brave Brothers. "If anyone wants to talk about triggering people, it's you."

"Hey man, that guy is the only one who I can possess," AKF replied. 

"Speaking of spirit possession," said a voice from outside the room as the door opened. "You need to stop that shit."

"God?!" gasped Brave Brothers and AKF.

"I heard you guys saying that you want to go back to Earth," said God.

Both of them shook their heads.

"I take it Kpopalypse doesn't want to go out," mused God.

"I'll go back to Earth in my own fanfic!" yelled Kpopalypse from the other room.

"Alright," God send as both of his hands started glowing. "I'm going to send you both back to Earth in your physical forms that you had before AKF pulled a jihad." God placed a hand each on Brave Brothers and AKF. "AKF, I am sick of you possessing people on Earth just to continue your shenanigans."

As soon as AKF gained back his physical body, he looked down his pants. "Mother fucker, I still don't have a dick! What the fucking fuck?!" AKF screamed.

"Why do you not have a dick?" asked Brave Brothers. 

"Well, I got raped by a disgustingly fat prostitute in Taiwan after having an orgy with the Popu Lady members. I contracted every STD known to man, so I had to chop my dick off. I tried committing suicide, by Jiyeon's powers saved me. I wanted to go thank her, so I went to Korea, but got sidetracked and met Kpopalypse in Korea. We were trying to bang our favorite member in f(x), but got roped into a conspiracy plot which lead to me blowing both of us up," AKF replied.

"Damn, dawg," said Brave Brothers as he was scribbling some notes. "I could use your story for a song some day."

AKF looked down at his phone and received a text message from God. "So, recently the first penis transplant happened, and God says that I have one match in this whole world."

"So, we're going to go find this fucker and take his penis?" asked Brave Brothers.

"You're God damn right," said AKF. "Luckily, he's also here in Korea, so we're going to go find him."

Later that day, AKF and Brave Brothers entered into a hotel. AKF walked up to the front desk and raised his right hand. A white light came out and engulfed the lady at the front desk. AKF, who had taken possession of the woman, reached for a card key and put in the code to unlock room 69. The woman gave Brave Brothers the key and AKF reverted back to his own body.

As AKF and Brave Brothers started walking towards room 69, Brave Brothers turned to AKF. "Assuming you take control of the dude's body, how is the operation going to be performed?"

"God said he would come down to Earth and perform the surgery himself. He told me that I just needed to be in the same room as the match and to take possession of his body," AKF said.

"That's real nice of him," said Brave Brothers.

"He's probably doing this so that I don't possess anyone's body so that I can bang all of Twice's legal members," AKF replied.

"I'd say that's pretty smart," said Brave Brothers.

AKF and Brave Brothers got to room 69 and Brave Brothers inserted the card key. They both entered the room after Brave Brothers opened the door to find an old nemesis.


As Johnny Noh looked at AKF and Brave Brothers, AKF could only groan. A bright white light flashed and God had appeared in the room.

"Why did Johnny Noh have to be my match for the penile transplant?" AKF asked.

"Because I thought it would be fucking hilarious," said God.




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[Teaser] Tiffany featuring Simon D

June 6, 2016, 3:44 pm
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Usually I'm not a fan of posting teasers, especially teasers from SM because they're a huge fucking lie, but I'm intrigued with this teaser.



I really like the atmosphere and tone of the song, and Simon D is a great rapper, so it would be hard to fuck it up in theory. In theory, I stress, because we don't know if the song will sound anything like the teaser.

At any rate, it fucking beats having an SNSD comeback. For the love of God, can SNSD just disband so that we only get solos?
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[Teaser] EXO - Monster

June 6, 2016, 3:55 pm
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Wow, this seems like a whole different EXO than from just a few years ago who released one of the worst songs in K-pop history, "Wolf". "Monster" actually seems like it will be good.




I bet some EXO-L's out there will over-analyze the MV, saying that it depicts the struggles of Kris, Luhan and Tao endured to get out of SM.

Anyway, I'm just glad(?) that I was able to watch anything EXO related without wishing that I could bleach my eyes and blow off my ears.
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Hyomin Shows Off Her Tits

June 7, 2016, 3:56 pm
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So I was reading NB and saw this article.




Of course, Korean netizens have to shit on Hyomin because she's hotter and has bigger tits. Then there are those who want to talk about her tits being fake (I won't comment on that, as for scientific research, I would need to see and feel them in person to be 100% sure just because), and so on and so on.



My response to whatever garbage Knetz say and what the Ifans on NB regurgitate. 
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EXID - L.I.E

June 7, 2016, 4:25 pm
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EXID released "L.I.E" and people are complaining about all of the sexual innuendo in the MV. Who cares when the director makes it easier to fap to Hani?



Imagine four years ago you discovered a new ice cream shop that opened up. Hardly anyone knew about them, but you enjoyed the variety of items on the menu. The first year that the ice cream shop opened, they released some new good flavors for people to try. You were a fan and tried getting your friends to try them out, but none of them would listen.

Early in the second year of the shop's existence, they tried something a little different and released some sherbert flavors. You thought it was pretty fucking good, but again, people were ignoring the shop. They had their small, but fiercely loyal customers that kept them afloat, but the shop didn't do much for the next 18 months.

In the summer of their third year, the shop came out with this perfect sundae, as it had the perfect mixture of vanilla and chocolate and they allowed you to customize it a little bit. It rocked your world, but again, no one paid attention. Months later, through a fancam that went viral of a really hot chick eating a sundae, did the shop get the attention you thought they deserved all along.

Three years after you had discovered this shop, things were going well. They were going to make a different version of the sundae that made them famous. You liked it a lot. It was familiar to the sundae you liked from last summer, but it was different enough to eat this sundae several times. Everyone was now jumping on the bandwagon and coming to this shop.

Later in that year in the fall, the shop released a new version of their sundae. As a long time customer, you wanted to try it. It tasted like shit. Not shit as in tasting bad, but literal shit. Sure, it looked aesthetically pleasing, but the chocolate seemed like it was horse shit. However, people were still eating it up.

The weather is getting warmer again, and you went back to the shop to see that they made another version of this sundae. They placed the sundae into a bigger bowl so that it had two cups. One side was "vanilla" and the other side "chocolate", both topped off with cherries and a bunch of whip cream sprayed on the sundae. Sure, it looked like a pair of tits with jizz on it, but the shop was going for the sex marketing. You took a bite and it tasted like horse semen and horse shit.

You vowed to no longer come here, as the shop stopped caring about quality. As long as the product looked aesthetically pleasing, that's all that mattered to them. It didn't matter they were serving horse jizz and shit and expecting people to like it when they were releasing good products. You'll always have fond memories of this shop, but you can't let them take advantage of you any longer. Fuck them and their shitty new releases.
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[MV Review] EXO - Monster

June 8, 2016, 5:08 pm
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EXO released "Monster" and I had to see if the teaser was a complete lie. If you liked the teaser, you're in for a treat.



When the song first started, I thought this was SM's rendition of YG's bullshit. The beginning of the song gives a false sense that "Monster" will be a yolo-swag trap fagfest as often put out by Big Bang and the like, but the chorus kicks in and song starts rocking. I didn't even think I'd ever say it, but here goes:

I like an EXO song.

There's only one thing I'd change about the song. The bridge before the rap needs to go. It slows the song when the song should be ramping up. The rap section does well at doing this. Hell, even the rap is good for idol standards (and like I've been saying a lot lately, thank God the rap sections are being contained in one longer section than appearing everywhere throughout the song). The dude didn't rap fast for yolo swag shit, but he was actually matching the increasingly faster beat. Usually too many idol rappers think that fast rapping is jjangbak without realizing they sound awful without going along with the beat.

While the song is good, I like the concept of the MV. These guys don't look like fucking fairies, so I can watch the MV without feeling like I need to attend a LGBTQOPJHRBSA (whatever the fuck they call it these days) event while donning a dress.

The concept of the MV deals with EXO rioting and fighting the man. However, with very little story to the MV, we don't know why they are rioting. Leave it to EXO-L's to come up with some whacky-ass reason for everything in the MV.

Here's my made-up bullshit:

The EXO members are rioting against the Korean netizens who have to bring up the Chinese defectors each and every time. The other members know that the lone Chinese guy left in the group (Lay) brings up up their visual game by over 9,000 and without him they'd look like they would belong in Akdong Musician. The Korean members are rioting to keep the Korean netizens in line so that Lay doesn't defect from the group. They even came out with a good song to make sure he doesn't feel like he's wasting his time promoting garbage like "Wolf" any longer.
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Twice - I'm Gonna Be A [Porn] Star Performance

June 10, 2016, 2:19 am
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Based Momo and Mina would make great JAV idols.







Sadly, no Mina fancam, but enjoy glorious Momo. She even makes that hideous outfit look good.


Thanks to klogg for the gifs as usual.

Dear Diary,

I haven't fapped to Momo in hours. My #NoFapToMomo2016 campaign is failing miserably.


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CLC's Yeeun

June 11, 2016, 4:47 am
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I hadn't really paid any attention to CLC until "No Oh Oh" came out, so a favorite member is something that is easy to change. At first I liked Elkie and Eunbin the most, but now I like Yeeun (and Yoojin) the most. I mainly like Yeeun because she is cute, but also one of the few female idol rappers that doesn't make me wish I was deaf.

She's wearing thigh chokers just for you, suho_ftw!
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